My goal is to be the youngest thirty-seven yr. old that will ride her son’s scooter. I can’t help it—I watch my kids slide and swing and play in childish delight. They monkey climb everything they can, with lungful’s of laughter and melting Popsicles dribbling over their chins.

I want.

I take a few spins around the park. The sidewalk encircles the grass in a perfect forever trail for anything with wheels. As I push off with my foot, Noah yells, “faster Mommy”.

I will, I will! The breeze crazies my hair as I race him around the grass, him on his bike, me the only grown-up around these parts who is not afraid to do this.

A young(er) mother walks her daughter to the playground, giving me a strange look. I smile. Yeah, you just need to play for a while, I know it by the way you look exhausted just walking through the parking lot.

Watching her invisible burdens weigh her shoulders down is like watching the News and trying to take the weight of all the tragedies onto mine. It’s too heavy, only God can do that. So I pray, then go out and play for a bit.

I fill most of my summer with this. When Noah and Chloe take their bikes out, I run

Proof

behind them. My legs love it, and I love it too because my legs are firmer for climbing ladders to the slide and for keeping up with them as they get faster/taller. The ground is no longer hard and boring—it’s a springboard for launching me over weeds sprouting through bike trails and hearing my son go, “That’s awesome, mommy. How do you do that?”

When I told my kids I’m about to be a published novelist, I get blank stares. But launching over monsoon-inspired weeds? That’s an accomplishment.

Just now, I interrupted my blog to go run through a giant mud puddle. Awesome. And you know what? I think better. I feel great. The fresh air and exercise, the blue sky and play have reminded me that God wants us to take a break when needed. Work at your craft, and pray without ceasing, but trust Him to handle the big stuff, because even the youngest of us grown-ups can’t carry the whole world.

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:2-4