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Warning: This blog is rated P for Potty-mouth.

It’s early, I have neither glasses on nor contact lenses in and all I see is blonde fluff on top of big eyes.

“Mommy, I went poo-poo in the toilet. Come and see.”

It’s 6:15am. Oh poop.

I follow him to the bathroom and he has nothing on but a shirt. Noah shows me his achievement and receives a matchbox car from the prize bag.

We finally found enough incentive for him to jump on the big boy wagon and use the toilet.

The next morning brought the same routine as well as the one after. Early wake up calls, poo, no pants and I’m OK with it because getting rid of pull-ups and wipes would leave a little more breathing room in the checking account.

Now he starts doing what half the population of the facebook world does and goes for image. Day four and something’s not right. He gives me the same 100_2509announcement but is wearing pants and night-time pull-up. Pause to put on glasses. I follow him to the bathroom to find a toilet full of…..water.

“I went, Mommy, I did.”

“Why are you still wearing your pajama pants and nighttime pull-up?”

“Uhhh. I nuh-know. Can I have my car?”

Faker.

Day four. 6am. I wake up to him holding a piece of cat poo in front of my face.

“Can I have my car, Mommy?”

I disinfect him and every toddler-reachable surface and rush to find the litter box in its spot in the laundry room, safety gate securely latched. The cats are old and sometimes don’t make it. And little Noah hasn’t figured out that I don’t expect him to be perfect. I just want him to make an honest effort. And he is. He just thinks he needs to portray a certain image to get his prize.

Yep, just like us grown-ups. We all like to be seen a certain way. Nice hair, makeup, slim, trim and successful, all-together…

If we only show what we want the world to see, we’ll get our reward, yes?

Until someone puts a lie in our face. Or we do it ourselves. What good comes from this? It’s only a façade. It will achieve nothing but mistrust and well, it stinks.

We all fall short on the way to the goal. Moses did. Saul did. Abraham Lincoln had his share of failures, but they all did one thing. They made history because they kept trying.

You can’t take your image to heaven. There is a ticket though, called grace. As for the prize, it is a crown worn by the family of heaven, and Truth is who made it.

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